Drifting off to sleep last night, I had visions of sunshine and daisies dancing in my head. When I woke, my dreams of spring today became a nightmare. MORE SNOW! COME ON! Does Mother Nature hate New Hampshire? After we broke the record for snow fall in a season, we deserve a break. Maybe when my lawyers serve Punxsutawney Phil with papers next week he will finally call off winter. If you still want to join our class action law suit, leave a comment on my blog.
I drove by our local amusement park today. While it was covered with 5 feet of snow and all of the rides were frozen solid, I could hear the echoes of the children laughing and screaming from last summer. For a moment, it was not 10 degrees and I could feel the warmth of the sun on my back. And, then I realized that it was just my seat warmer. Letting out a loud scream, “CURSE YOU PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL!” I went home to chisel the ice off of my front steps. Does anyone have an outdoor extension cord for my blow dryer?
This is no joke! I’m suing Punxsutawney Phil! He had the chance to end winter this week, but he extended it for 6 more weeks. If he thinks that he can get away with it, he has another thing coming. For years he has acted with impunity, but enough is enough! Because of his negligence, I fell on the ice today. And, my personal injury lawyers Do, We, Screw, Them and How said that I have a case. First, we are suing him for pain and suffering. I banged up my knees and bruised my hands and side. Next, we are suing for mental anguish and post-traumatic stress disorder. I can’t even drink a glass of ice water without panicking. I don’t care if we have to attach his wages for the next 50 years. That little groundhog needs to be taught a lesson. You think you’re afraid of your shadow Punxsutawney Phil. You haven’t met my lawyers yet. If you have been a victim of this heinous creature and you want to join our class action suit, please comment on my blog. My lawyers will be in touch.
What a game last night! Amazing plays by both teams. But, in the end, the New England Patriots prevailed. Despite another blizzard today and Punxsutawney Phil predicting 6 more weeks of winter, we are all happy in New England. We are very proud of our team and most especially Tom Brady who broke records last night. In addition, we are very proud of Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman and Malcolm Butler. Please join us in saying Congats Pats!
- You’re bribing Punxsutawney Phil, so that he doesn’t see his shadow.
- You are surfing the web for deals to travel south.
- The walls seem to be getting closer.
- Every closet has been cleaned and organized.
- You don’t have any more layers to add. Burr!
- You have a fort under your dining room table.
- You are wearing protective gear for the Nerf battles.
- “Keep the snow outside!”
- You can’t sit by the fire and read any longer.
- You can’t watch another movie.