As usual, my day began with making breakfast and lunch for my son. After 2 cups of coffee and getting him on the bus, I took a minute to look at my To Do List for the day. How on earth will I get all of this done? I am tired of being a grown up with all of this responsibility. I need a break. Of all the people I know it is the toddlers who are most happy, joyous and free. They seem not to have a care in the world. I want to be a toddler!
Starting my day with “ungry wanna eat now!” I made sure to leave a pretty picture on the kitchen table in applesauce, after playing with my cheerios and hiding them throughout the kitchen. Finally, screaming, “Down, Down,” and banging on the table. I signaled the end of breakfast.
Crawling around the yard, I spent hours exploring. I looked at every blade of grass, weed and insect. “Buggies,” I squealed, picking them up and letting them crawl on my arm. “Hee, Hee that tickles, I continued. Next, “<Spit> yucky! I no like bugs!”
Banging on the door saying, “Barney time, Barney time,” I ran in to dance and sing. “I love you, you love me,we’re a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?” Breaking for a moment, I skipped to the potty. “M&M pease, I peepee in potty,” I said reaching out my hand.
When Barney was over, I made a quick stop for macaroni and cheese. Drawing Barney on the wall with the macaroni and cheese, I said “petty Barney.” Pleased with my masterpiece, I decided to redecorate the house. Taking everything out of the cabinets, I arranged the pots, pans, jars and cans around the house.
Tired from all of my dancing, singing food painting and decorating, I grabbed my binky and laid down for a nap. Waking and stretching, it was time for my snack, milk and cookies, yum! Refueled, I was ready to make supper in my kitchen. With a 30 minute meal to revile Rachael Ray, I proudly handed my plastic plate containing plastic steak, potato and broccoli.
For the perfect ending to my day as a toddler, I raced to the tub leaving a trial of my clothes on the way. “Bubbles,” I squealed jumping in the tub and blowing them all over the bathroom. When I had dispatched the bubbles, I tested what happens when you move back and forth in the tub. “Wee,” I howled as I rode the waves splashing water all over the bathroom. With the little water I had left in the tub, I made sure to give my ducks swim. “Quack, Quack,” I squawked to make them feel at home. Finishing with a soft fluffy towel and my Hello Kitty pajamas, I curled up in my bed. Soon I was purring like a kitten.
How great was my day as a toddler? I spent hours exploring every inch of my yard in wonder. Dancing and singing with Barney, I was in heaven. Making a mess with my food, I ran onto the next game and someone else cleaned up. Getting paid to use the toilet seems like a parental shake down to me, but quite fun for me the toddler. Finally, a tubby to relax from all of the decorating and cooking supper. What a life!