I don’t want to alarm you, but think there has been an alien invasion. When I went into my son’s room this morning to wake him up, he had been replaced by an alien. While it looks like him, it does not act like him. Apparently these aliens hate school. They hide under their blankets to avoid going to school.
After stripping the bed to get this alien out of it, I had to drag him to the kitchen for breakfast. I am wondering if he is one of the bug aliens from Men in Black. All he seem to want to eat is sugar.
I suspect they have a strange sense humor. His favorite TV show is Crash and Bernstein. He has been trying to replicate the pranks on his family and friends. Also, he finds belching, farting and face slamming very funny.
According to this alien, the females of the species carry a deadly disease called cooties. Contact with girls could be fatal and must be avoided at all costs. Also, I am told that they have an allergy to homework and bedtime. Their reactions can be quite severe at times.
The Olympics on his planet include games of Minecraft, Skylanders, Plants vs Zombies and Call of Duty. They must have some form of football on his planet, because he loves Madden 25. In order to win, they practice for many hours, jumping up and screaming as the battle gets heated.
Also, it seems that the inhabitants of his planet leave their clothes, dishes and trash everywhere. This planet must be a dump!
Besides the mess, this planet must be very violent. He likes guns, shooting and battle. He has Nerf guns, water guns and cap guns. When guns aren’t available, he likes to have pillows fights and throw stuffed animals. He has been building bunkers throughout the house for battle. I am afraid there is going to be a large scale invasion.
To avoid the destruction of our planet, I have been attempting to educate him as to our earth customs. For example, if he wants to practice the custom of playing with his friends, he must complete his homework and go to bed on time. Also, if he wants to partake in the custom of dessert, he must eat his vegetables.
He seems to be responding to my requests, so I will not alert the NSA just yet. But, I would like you to keep an eye out for strange behavior in your children. We need to know how wide spread this invasion has become. The fate of our planet rests in your hands.